"Heroes" went straight into the super-toilet. The second season was a complete waste of time. Stories waddled off into dozens of torturously dull directions, none of which made any sense, or made me want to care why it didn't make sense. You can kill with your mind? Yawn. You can do things after you see them happen on TV? So can most people. Weeks went by without Hiro Nakamura. Jess advanced the plot by taking his shirt off in every scene. Hooray, thanks for adding a smug British jerk who lives forever — just what I was hoping for! Kristen Bell's superpower is her ability to make me mute the TV. Handsome teenage boys can fly (duh!). Stephen Tobolowsky is as intimidating as a shoe. Mohinder getting punched in the face was far and away the high point of the season, I rewound it and watched it three times. At least Ali Larter's character got blowed up (blowed up real good), but everyone knows it won't take. Ugh. I thought the first season of "Heroes" was very good, until it ended with a shameless cop-out. Oh sure, I understand how it could be unrealistic to kill every character at the end of your first (and therefore only) season, but come on, wouldn't that be awesome? I'll go ahead and answer that for you: Yes, yes it would be awesome. Go out on top, with dignity and shock. We would talk about your show in hushed tones forever and ever. You pussies. What happened to you, "Heroes," you used to be cool, but you changed, man.

(Click the remote control to continue.)